So the old white privileged heterosexual Christian male “alleged” sexual assaulter, Kavanaugh, has been granted lifelong authority at the highest federal judicial post, the Supreme Court of the United States.

What next?

To all of the women, who were inspired to tell their story [read mine here] after Christine Blasey Ford’s courageous testimony about being sexually assaulted by this new Supreme Court judge, I want to say, emphatically, IT IS STILL SAFE. Your truths, your stories, YOU are important! You will not lose your mind. We cannot crawl back into the dark, hidden and small spaces. Community has been established – even if we are not physically arm in arm, we are energetically linked. We must be ready every day, in every conversation, to use our voices, to witness each other’s light and beauty, and to kindly redirect the ignorance we have born witness to for so long.

There is a brutal war underway right now in America. It’s a battle between “hard” and “soft”; “tough” and “weak”. It’s a war between the subtle masculine and feminine energies present in every one of us. The challenge is that the masculine is a dominating energy and has been empowered for centuries due to its linear simplicity. Feminine complexities like unified field theory or string theory, metaphysics in general, even permaculture and concepts like interbeing, are kept neatly at the edges of “mainstream” consciousness. The battle is ugly and pervasive. It’s gas-lighting and crazy-making; but only if we go numb or asleep.

Being at the edge – of your own pain or comfort – of your knowledge (emotional, mental, or physical) – is where you get to choose YES or NO. Ultimately, through very unique and personal processes, it comes down to this, “Do you care enough about yourself to say yes” [to discomfort].

By saying yes, you have to make time and space to listen and learn. By saying yes, you have to sacrifice the illusion of progress through “work” (which so often is little more than evolved slavery like this satirical Dilbert comic) and be still for moments that will, with enough patience, reveal to you the NEXT RIGHT STEP.

Slavery Or Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Similar to the inner work demonstrated by survivors of cancer, heart attacks, and other traumatic life events, I believe that the terribly traumatic experiences I’ve had, of watching my younger brother get crushed and being stalked and raped [which I can now refer to with so few words because I’ve spent decades processing the emotions surrounding these experiences], ultimately gave me the determination to value life – to viscerally know the preciousness of life – more fully, more acutely, more passionately, than had I not been exposed to this pain.

Until it’s “our time” to die, we can learn that painful experience doesn’t kill us. And, that attending to our emotional pain and suffering – objectively like a nurse caring for and attending to the healing of another – actually gives life meaning. The ability to nurse or nurture ourselves through day to day “ouches” – everything from big shocks to our system to the very subtle rude and ignorant words of another – reveals hidden truths throughout the body and makes us strong and resilient.

White Heterosexual Masculine Capitalist Mind Has Become Fear Of Emotion. Emotions are not the enemy.

Anyone with White Mind needs to stop running around like disembodied chickens with their heads cut off. ASAP.


You already know the way:

  1. Breathe Deeply
  2. Eat like you give a damn (I saw this on a bumper sticker recently!)
  3. Drink water like it’s the most precious gift you’ve ever received (because it is)
  4. Walk mindfully (especially up stairs and through doorways)
  5. Stretch your body (and mind) every day
  6. Be Grateful (keep a gratitude journal)
  7. Shake people’s hands and hug people like you truly mean it
  8. Look at others in the eyes when you talk with them – it helps you listen to everything they’re saying and not able to say out loud
  9. When someone’s pace is too fast for you – especially during sex – hold their hands, look in their eyes, and say, “darling, let’s try this another way”, and
  10. LOVE like it’s the best skill you’ve got (because it is)

… to be continued